Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Work sucks.............and I need a LARGE hose.....

Okay, so it really does suck...my blood pressure is up, today I was near tears and that isn't me. I have come to hate my job.......really. Not all of my job, just the part that deals with the OH function, with Tom Seleck look alike and Colt Sever-ex seal, it really pisses me off how rumblestils-can'tspellthisshit-generalmanagerofdivision won't take initiative and do anything either, or how about Mister I am in Happy Retirement Hurricane Central Now and no one can touch me and I don't ever have to commute again? How about having some balls instead of itching them and doing something about something for a change? I guess he served his country and his time and commuted enough and doesn't give a ratz ass about this or his people enough to even inform his customer of the low or the high of what's up or not? Not to forget now the timecop of the office, who asked me how I was doing on this fine day, and I said well any day above ground is better than one below it and he just looked at me and said uh well yeah.

I am sick of putting forth the effort, the excess hours, lying on my timesheet because "it won't work or it will mess me up"-how the fuck does that happen you have an MBA? I don't even have an AA and I can do the math even with a D in bra size! Not being able to get away from the office, being the metrosexual Jill and Jack of all trades when I am just the FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL of the office. Christy, penny henny the ceiling's failing, we're out of nestea lemon, we're out of color toner, we need to get into Barbara's old office when you get a chance-here's a thought, call Barbara and ask her, or how come, Barbara left, then it was Freida's office, but you refer to it as Barbara's office and not Freida's office huh Tom Seleck look-a-like? Oh yes, Tom Seleck stated you could order me Sony 90-minute casette tapes for dictation, okay, well CE doesn't have Sony tapes, are Maxwell okay? Also, do you want the mini tapes or standard size, Actual Response: Geez, any brand is fine and standard size of course. Well if any brand is fucking fine why did you put down Sony then Miss Dance Party USA? Oh and let's have a CHRISTmas party and have CHRISTY do all the work in preparation for it, she'll buy the turkeys and hams and all the lalalalala and then Tom Seleck will complain that we're not starting until the end of the day, rather than at the beginning of the day near lunch time like everyone else, but he won't come up with recommendations or even send his dish, as requested by Christy to Christy so that we won't have duplicates, instead he will just bring one in, PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET TOM!
I like my PM a lot, I really do, but I had to call HR today, I felt it was my only option to see a little bit of light at the tunnel, little did I know it was the director of human relations, sweet! Hopefully something will happen and I told her I didn't want any retailation of any kind, that looks like a retail word rather than the one I am trying to spell, but anywho.

DP is at the gym, good for her, I took my muscle relaxers as prescribed by my doc, my other antinflammatories for my 4512.00 teeth and I am feeling better than I did today. I had tight muscles in my neck and shoulders and my head was throbbing by the time I left work today. I am listening to bittersweet symphony now.

Being in this position has really made me think about what I want out of life in general, career wise, and in general. I wonder if I were with a different company, under different circumstances, would I feel differently? Point being=I don't ever want a stressful position again in my life, I want the less stress position now, and that's not me, that's what is weird about the whole thing, I am not like that. I am into the high beat and tight strung of stuff, I do better under pressure in school and under deadlines, I think maybe the mismanagement and poor training of this position, in addition to the lack of support from corporate has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. In one hand, given the situation all over again, I could have tried different things, and random thoughts are running through my head now about how to make improvements on things and millions of other To Do's that I still have yet to get to with this position, however, I just didn't have the time, even when F was there, I was doing the primary function of everything. I think in the beginning I didn't let my life get involved, then in the middle I saw life and near the end I wanted live and I think that has been the demise of the position and why I want out. In one way I feel like I have failed, but in another way I feel like they have failed me, since they are upper management with more experience, etc., they didn't analyze the reprocussions of their decision, they were simply looking at the bottomline without thinking...I can just put this behind me as a learning experience and know better next time. I told F from the beginning I thought that it was a bigger bite than we could chew, and the "what-if's" seemed to be a greater risk than anything, but I did get a raise that I was owed for a few years out of it...finally! So all isn't lost...now if we can just win the next contract, so I can continue to utilize the time with the company, finish my degree, grow my retirement, use their benefits to purchase sperm and get pregnant, and of course get my ESOP!

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