Sleep-Not Here

Okay, I've always been an insomniac to a degree, but I guess my body is dealing with stress and the worry of the side affects and long term affects of chemo, that I am subconciously stressing. Not to mention, they're starting to lay off people again at DPs job, they say she is fine, but you never know and I still won't know about mine until the end of May or June, or hell I don't know when. My father might have colon cancer now, they said the spot on his lung cleared up but his PetScan showed something in his bowel. He went up to the bean building to talk to the GI doc yesterday and while he was there, they took his BP of course, and all that jazz, and it was high, so they sent him to the ER, he is in ICU now, they think something is wrong with his heart. My grandfather died of cardiac arrest, all the peeps on his side have rapid heart rates including my father that is why we think this is normal for him. My uncles is 90, mine is usually 110 and my father's was 150, they gave him medicine all night long for it to go down and it finally did for a while, the cardiologist seems to think there is something wrong with my father's heart (avoiding an opportunity for a joke on purpose here), however, we see it as just his normal rhythm.

I didn't get to bed last night until almost 1:30, and I usually get up about 5 times during the night for the bathroom and then I was woken up when Dawn had to go to work and then on top of that, Debbie, Shawna and one of my aunts calls me this morning between 7 and 8. The phone just kept going off all the time, I was pissed.

So now I am finally fucking up and I can't sleep. I am going to take a shower and chill out because I don't feel that great-I've been having constant fucking migraines, no doubt stress related.