Catch-UP
Ummm...where do I begin? I have been on STD(short term disability) now for a while, having had surgery on 3/27. Things are going a lot smoother than they were initially, I thought I was going to die and for a while there, I really wanted too.
I've lost a ton of weight and I am now down to about 150. I will most likely lose more once chemo starts, I will call the peeps at Lombardi tomorrow to see how things will go with getting my mediport put in, *a process I am not looking forward to* because my scar free exterior up top will now have at the very least two scars where the port is, not to mention it's another surgery to have it put in, another to have it removed, and possibly one more if this thing on the right doesn't clear up on it's own. Dawn goes to see Dr. Polko tomorrow so I will be asking about the right sided mass then.
The fam and friends came over on Sunday for a little get together, it was nice, good times, good times. We played cranium with the girls and a few friends, Patty and Debbie really enjoyed theirselves.
My father isn't doing too well, his last chemo treatment really affected him, he's been battling nausea, hair loss and chronic fatigue since he started, and he only had 21 hours of it, I am really wondering what it's going to be like for me with my 600 hours of it. I don't know if I will take the full cycle, I will try out the clinical trial period because hopefully the findings will benefits other people down the road.
I am a little less topsy turvy about the non-possibility of children. We found a donor at Fairfax Cryobank that sort of looks like me a little and I'm content with that. I was watching something on TV the other day and someone said, children are the ultimate immortaility, that is so true, that's what is so hard for me to let go of that possibility. CANCER FUCKING SUCKS.
Here's my letter to Cancer:
Dear Cancer,
Fuck Off!
Christy
Why couldn't you have invaded my body a few years down the road, when my massive life insurance, cancer insurance, and baby making days would have been good and done with? Why did you have to come now? Why ever?.......okay that's the pissy potty pants side of me.
This is the rational side of me:
I am thankful that it's only Stage II, that it didn't spread to any of the 16 lymph nodes and that they found it when they did, that I was able to have a total collectomy without severe complication or healing impairment. I am thankful to have my youth on my side through this healing process. I need to count my blessings.
Experience today:
Dawn stopped by Lowes to pay for someone to install our shower door in the master bathroom, since the plans of her and James doing this are now, null and void-long boring ass story, won't go there! I am sitting in the truck, balancing out the bills and writing myself a reminder list to do. I have the massive TI-85 calculator while doing so (important detail in this story), a very large fat bottom woman and her son comes out, their SUV is parked one empty spot away from ours, she starts yelling at her son as to why he can't put the merchandise they purchased correctly into the back of the SUV, I don't want to hear their biatchin, so I insert Prodigy and select track 5-smack my bitch up, and listen to that really loud-problem solved. Secondly, a white worker van comes up, pulls in beside me into the empty spot separating me from the bitchy people, I am still listening to my music minding my own bees wax when the black 40-something guy gets out and says, "Calculus is hard", I am thinking what? I turned off Prodigy and then said, huh? He repeats himself, then I am like, "uh, yeah". He goes in the store. 12 hours after Dawn has went in, she finally returns, and so does he a few minutes before her, she comes to the truck and says, did he try to pick you up? I said I don't know why, she said because he is starring at you, I look up and sure enough he was, I was like WTF? We drove off and that was that. I think I might put that on a shirt, "Calculus is hard".
Time to check out, I need to shower and go to bed with Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
Hasta Beasta
I've lost a ton of weight and I am now down to about 150. I will most likely lose more once chemo starts, I will call the peeps at Lombardi tomorrow to see how things will go with getting my mediport put in, *a process I am not looking forward to* because my scar free exterior up top will now have at the very least two scars where the port is, not to mention it's another surgery to have it put in, another to have it removed, and possibly one more if this thing on the right doesn't clear up on it's own. Dawn goes to see Dr. Polko tomorrow so I will be asking about the right sided mass then.
The fam and friends came over on Sunday for a little get together, it was nice, good times, good times. We played cranium with the girls and a few friends, Patty and Debbie really enjoyed theirselves.
My father isn't doing too well, his last chemo treatment really affected him, he's been battling nausea, hair loss and chronic fatigue since he started, and he only had 21 hours of it, I am really wondering what it's going to be like for me with my 600 hours of it. I don't know if I will take the full cycle, I will try out the clinical trial period because hopefully the findings will benefits other people down the road.
I am a little less topsy turvy about the non-possibility of children. We found a donor at Fairfax Cryobank that sort of looks like me a little and I'm content with that. I was watching something on TV the other day and someone said, children are the ultimate immortaility, that is so true, that's what is so hard for me to let go of that possibility. CANCER FUCKING SUCKS.
Here's my letter to Cancer:
Dear Cancer,
Fuck Off!
Christy
Why couldn't you have invaded my body a few years down the road, when my massive life insurance, cancer insurance, and baby making days would have been good and done with? Why did you have to come now? Why ever?.......okay that's the pissy potty pants side of me.
This is the rational side of me:
I am thankful that it's only Stage II, that it didn't spread to any of the 16 lymph nodes and that they found it when they did, that I was able to have a total collectomy without severe complication or healing impairment. I am thankful to have my youth on my side through this healing process. I need to count my blessings.
Experience today:
Dawn stopped by Lowes to pay for someone to install our shower door in the master bathroom, since the plans of her and James doing this are now, null and void-long boring ass story, won't go there! I am sitting in the truck, balancing out the bills and writing myself a reminder list to do. I have the massive TI-85 calculator while doing so (important detail in this story), a very large fat bottom woman and her son comes out, their SUV is parked one empty spot away from ours, she starts yelling at her son as to why he can't put the merchandise they purchased correctly into the back of the SUV, I don't want to hear their biatchin, so I insert Prodigy and select track 5-smack my bitch up, and listen to that really loud-problem solved. Secondly, a white worker van comes up, pulls in beside me into the empty spot separating me from the bitchy people, I am still listening to my music minding my own bees wax when the black 40-something guy gets out and says, "Calculus is hard", I am thinking what? I turned off Prodigy and then said, huh? He repeats himself, then I am like, "uh, yeah". He goes in the store. 12 hours after Dawn has went in, she finally returns, and so does he a few minutes before her, she comes to the truck and says, did he try to pick you up? I said I don't know why, she said because he is starring at you, I look up and sure enough he was, I was like WTF? We drove off and that was that. I think I might put that on a shirt, "Calculus is hard".
Time to check out, I need to shower and go to bed with Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
Hasta Beasta
posted by Christy at 10:25 PM
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